


The More You Suffer, The More It Shows You Really Care

by Morgawse



Series: The bitter then the sweet [1]
Category: All Time Low (Band), Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 22:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13668687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgawse/pseuds/Morgawse
Summary: Mikey thinks Frank's abusing his brother.  Gerard disagrees. He believes Frank shows how much he loves him through the rough play, and he shows how much he loves Frank by sucking up all of Frank's far from ideal behaviour. Frank? Well he's beginning to think Mikey might be right, but he won't allow himself to accept those thoughts, or will he?





	The More You Suffer, The More It Shows You Really Care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance/gifts), [momiji_neyuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/gifts).



> So this is Part 1 of a 6 part series of totally standalone one-shots inspired by non-Bandom lyrics - 3 bitter(ish) and 3 sweet(ish). In this first of the series it is dominant, abusive Frankie with long-suffering boyfriend Gerard. Don't hate me, that's what the sweet parts of the series are to make up for. Other than Mikey, the rest of the gang are bit parts so don't get too excited about the list of names. Hey its a one-shot, what do you expect!
> 
> Apologies for any errors - I think I caught most of them.
> 
> This first one is gifted to two fabulous writers here on AO3:  
> Firstly MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance who encouraged(?) me to put my money where my mouth was about freedom of creative expression. If you have a broad, or simply curious, mind and haven't yet, please do read the Process the Progress series. Funny, sweet, KINKY, hot, sexy Frerard smut. 
> 
> Secondly to momiji-neyuki. If you know this writer's work then need I say anymore? Bondage Mansion was the first fic I read and it inspired me to change my mind about fanfiction - never thought I'd write it though. If you haven't experienced that roller-coaster ride yet - go read ALL 55 chapters then tell me I'm wrong! Be warned though you need a strong stomach, a strong heart and a broad mind to make it all the way through, but it is worth it. 
> 
> If you enjoy these recommendations, then check out their back catalogues too. You won't be disappointed (and they're both absolute sweethearts who always respond to comments)!
> 
> Updated to add the great picture created by the fabulous momiji_neyuki!

url="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DV9pw4DW0AAm77e.jpg" data-element-context="platform_photo_card" style="background-color:rgba(64,55,51,1.0);" data-dominant-color="[64,55,51]">  


Gerard looked at his phone for the umpteenth time that day. It hadn’t rung or pinged, but maybe there was something from Frank. Of course, there wasn’t. He sighed, and stuffing his phone back in his pocket, turned his attention back to his work.

He knew how ridiculous it was, a grown man behaving like some starry-eyed teenager desperate for his boyfriend to text or call him. He had promised though! He said he would probably come over that night. Gerard had even kept the evening free – ugh, who was he kidding, he never did anything except wait for Frank. He didn’t know which was worse, this dead-end admin job or waiting for his boyfriend to actually show up on time and in a good mood. Most likely the job, because the sex definitely made up for Frank’s behaviour.

Come the end of the day, still nothing. Better stop off on the way home to pick up some food. Just in case. God knows what his boyfriend would do if there wasn’t anything to eat when he came over. Gerard felt a chill remembering the last time that happened. He’d had to buy tattoo cover-up to hide the bruise. Thankfully, it was normal for him to be wearing make-up, so no-one said anything. However, the evening dragged on into night with no sign of Frank. Maybe tomorrow.

*The next day*  
The next day was Groundhog Day at the office. Bitching co-workers more interested in the latest reality TV shows than art or music. Then there was his boss, Lisa, commonly referred to by everyone in the office as the Ice Queen. Nobody could do anything perfectly enough or fast enough – especially Gerard. So, it was just his luck that she was standing next to him unloading yet another pile of data for him to collate, when his phone rang. Instinctively he jumped to retrieve it from his pocket.

“You know company policy on personal calls Gerard!”

“Yes, but,” he sneaked a look at the caller id, it was his baby brother Mikey. “It’s my brother, he’s not been in a good way recently, he could really be needing my help.” He gave Lisa one of his best pleading looks. That was one benefit of his relationship with Frank – he’d learnt to perfect the art of the begging, pleading look. Not that it ever stopped Frank when the red mist descended. Inwardly he hoped this would be different, that there was some small chink in her armour about family, and that the look would work. It wasn’t like he was lying or anything.

Her perma-freeze scowl stayed in place and his heart started to sink…… “Ok,” she huffed, “Let’s call this your lunch break today. Probably best go find an empty meeting room though, don’t want the rest of the team thinking they can get away with taking personal calls on company time.”

“Er, yeah, sure. Thank you” Gerard called over his shoulder, scurrying away to talk to Mikey.  
The younger brother poured his heart out. He’d had yet another panic attack, and his prescription didn’t seem to be working. Worse Alicia had kicked him out. Gerard didn’t know what to say. He so badly wanted to make all of this better for his little brother, but he couldn’t.

“Look Mikes, where are you gonna stay? Can you face going back to Mum and Dad’s?” Silently he willed his brother to say yes, because he really didn’t know how having Mikey stay with him would go down with Frank.

“Um, well, I, er, I was kinda hoping I could crash on your couch for a few days till she takes me back?”

Before Gerard could answer, another call came through. It was Frank. “Hey baby brother – I’ve got to take another call. Can I call you back in 5?”

“Sure”, Mikey replied dejectedly. “It’s Frank isn’t it?”

“Yes”.

Oh shit, Gerard thought. This is all getting too messy. With both Mikey and Frank needing his full attention, it was going to take so long to sort things out, he’d have to face the wrath of the Ice Queen and volunteer to stay late to make up the extra time.

*Ten minutes later*  
“Gee, you really have to stand up for yourself. It’s like Iero snaps his fingers and you mindlessly do whatever he tells you.”

“I know I should Mikes, but …” Gerard felt ashamed. Here was his younger brother advising him on his crappy relationship. Surely it was supposed to be the other way around, especially given Mikey’s rather fragile mental health right now. “…I do try, he just has this way of….” His voice tailed off.

“You could start by letting me stay” Mikey wheedled.

“For fuck’s sake! Do I have MUG written on my forehead or something?” Gerard answered jokingly.

“Apparently so!”

“Ok, but Frank’s going to be there tonight. Play nice, please?”

“Whatever you say big bro” came the sarcastic reply.

*Later that night*  
Gerard didn’t even bother to savour the last of his whiskey. He tossed the dregs of the bottle down his throat as the tears fell quietly down his face, stinging the cut beneath his eye. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there his back against the fridge, but he was sure Frank had only had a couple of shots from the bottle, so it had been almost full when he started. Startled by a key in the door, he dropped the bottle.

“Shit, oh, shit …FUCK!” He tried to gather his wits together to clear up the broken shards. Instead of clearing up, Gerard wound up making more of a mess with a couple of cuts on his hands to match the one on his face. He slumped back against the fridge in defeat.

Mikey stood open mouthed in the kitchen doorway. He’d gone out with his friend Pete so that he didn’t have to see Frank. Pete has his own struggles, so he got Mikey’s anxiety issues. They provided support for each other when Pete’s boyfriend Patrick and his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend?) Alicia weren’t so understanding. He knew Gee’s relationship with Frank was pretty one-sided, but this…He hoped this was a one off, he couldn’t stand to see his brother fall back into the abyss of drink and drugs.

“Oh my god Gee! What happened? Did that little shit hit you?”

“It’s ok Mikey, I sorta deserved it. He was really late, and I had been thinking about what you said about me sticking up for myself, so I started to lay into him about it, then told him to go back to screwing Brendon …...”

“He hit you for that?”

“Not then, no.” Gerard then explained how the rest of the evening had unfolded with burnt food, running out of coffee, and then the pièce de résistance – Frank had seen Mikey’s stuff before Gerard had told him that his brother was staying with him for a while.

“He wouldn’t believe me Mikes” Gerard wailed. “I kept telling him it was you, but he got it into his head that I was cheating on him. He just got angrier and kept on yelling, so I…I…I”. His voice tailed off as huge sobs started to wrack his body.

Mikey could feel his chest start to tighten, his heart pound, his palms sweat, and his breath start to falter. No, not now! He had to breath. He had to breath. He had to start the count – in - one, two, three. Out - one, two, three. In - one, two, three. Out - one, two, three. He couldn’t have an attack now, but he was so angry, so shocked, so upset, so in need of his pills. Even if it didn’t take all the panic away, it would take enough of the edge off so that he could deal with his brother. Mikey patted his jacket pockets. Finding the packet in one of them, he swallowed double the dose dry, gagging a little as they caught in his throat on the way down.

“It’s ok Gee.” Mikey wrapped his arms around his brother. “Let’s get you cleaned up and dress these cuts.” Now was not the time to have another go at getting Frank out of Gee’s life, they both needed sleep.

*Saturday Night – Part 1*  
The usual suspects were gathered around a couple of tables in a Hoboken dive bar when the Way brothers walked in. The group were getting in a few drinks before going to watch a Misfits tribute band. Mikey’s heart sank a little when he saw that Pete and Patrick appeared to be all over each other. He didn’t really want to be the third wheel. Secretly he had hoped that they would be mid-fight again so that he could get Pete all to himself. Then again it gave him the opportunity to watch out for his big brother. Frank hadn’t been over since the night he hit Gee. However, Mikey had heard the phone calls. Gerard had continued to blame himself for what had happened and was promising Frank all sorts of things to make it up to him. Mikey also suspected, although he couldn’t prove it, that his brother had continued drinking throughout the week.

“MikeyWay!” A pair of arms were flung around his shoulders. For half a second, he hoped they were Pete’s, but his luck wasn’t that good.

“Hi Ry, where’s Bren?” Having realised that it was Brendon’s boyfriend Ryan, he became very aware of the two noticeable omissions to the group – Frank and Brendon.

“Oh, he texted me earlier to say he’d meet us at the gig.” Ryan said cheerfully.

Mikey stared at Ryan. He couldn’t believe the guy’s naivety. Surely, he knew Brendon was always on the look out for other hook-ups. He half opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Who was he to shatter Ryan's illusions. No, there are times when bitter experience is the only way to learn, unless of course you are his brother, Gerard then you never seem to learn, no matter how many shitty lessons life throws at you. Mikey was about to lose himself in his rumination when a beer was wafted in his face drawing him back to reality.

"Earth to Mikey! Seriously Ry, what did you say to him? Were you giving away all Brendon's little blow job tricks?"

"Shut up Wentz. You of all people should know them by heart! Does Trick appreciate Bren's techniques?"

Surprisingly for Pete, he started to blush at Ryan's insinuations. "Fuck you, Ross!" He stuck his middle finger up at the other man, sticking his tongue out at the same time.

Disentangling Mikey from Ryan, Pete pulled his best friend off to one side. "Look Mikes, we gotta play things on the down low this evening. Trick's feeling a bit vulnerable tonight - nothing I did," he added before he received either the raised eyebrow or sarcastic comment. "I probably need to devote my attention to him or he'll turn diva on my arse again. Although, …looks like Gee needs your care anyway. What happened? Did he get into a fight?" Pete couldn't imagine Gerard in a fight, but how else would he have gotten that black eye? He knew from experience that Frank liked to play rough, but he had never done anything like that to him any time they'd hooked up. It didn't occur to Pete that his friend would be the culprit.

"It was that jumped up, little punk shit, Iero," Mikey spat out storming off to find his older brother.

Gerard had settled himself into a gentle conversation with Ray and Christa about their wedding plans when Mikey appeared at his side. It was safe, comfortable territory. It didn’t hurt that they were positioned facing the door, so he could see Frank when he turned up. Mentally he corrected himself, if he turned up. The fact that Brendon was also late hadn't escaped Gerard’s notice.

As if on cue, the door opened, and Frank walked in, his arm draped casually over some boy Gerard had never seen before. Gerard was sure his mouth was hanging open – the way that the others were gawking at him. That wasn’t Brendon with Frank! That boy was, just, just so young looking. Was he even old enough to be in this place? Damn Frank looked good tonight in his ripped jeans, baggy faded band t-shirt, and leather jacket. Was that smirk on his face for his benefit? He began to tense up, then reminded himself he was probably being paranoid and didn’t want to cause a scene in public. That job was reserved for Patrick, he chuckled to himself. Especially when Pete began flirting too much with too many people too openly. His tension hadn’t gone unnoticed though.

“Hi guys, what’s up?” Frank sauntered over to the group. He leaned in to give Gerard a kiss, shooting daggers out of the corner of his eyes to his boyfriend’s younger brother. “This is Alex. He was hanging around the stage door, looking all lost and pathetic, so I told him I knew the band and could get him a pass for later”.

Alex cringed inwardly. Why had he agreed to this? Instantly he became all to aware that Frank hadn’t been joking about his boyfriend, but had he been telling the truth about that backstage access? Too late to back out now. Something in the older man’s face told him that he was used to Frank behaving like this. Was Frank in fact the reason for his boyfriend’s black eye? No, that was his over active imagination playing tricks on him, wasn’t it? Perhaps he shouldn’t have left Jack and the others at the motel room while he tried to get to the band. Urgh – Jack! How would he explain his behaviour to him? Maybe if he played it cool, Jack wouldn’t suspect a thing, so he wouldn’t have to tell him that he’d sucked off that tattooed punk and let him jerk Alex off in exchange for a promise of backstage passes. God, he was behaving like some stupid groupie. All just so they could get someone to take their band seriously. Honestly, Alex!

Mikey sensed his brother tense when Frank strolled in with one of his conquests. Wasn’t it enough that he thought it was ok to sleep around on his brother, but to rub it in his face like this, so soon after the stunt he pulled on Tuesday. Somebody really ought to teach him a lesson. As he considered punching Frank’s lights out, that old familiar feeling began to take over. Suddenly he was a sweaty wreck, heart racing, breath shallow. The darkness was creeping in on him as his head swam.

“Mikes…Mikes…Come on Mikey – look at me.” Somewhere he was vaguely conscious of a hand on his face. “Let’s breath together, ok Mikey? Come back to me Mikey! Concentrate on breathing. Look at my face, I’m with you.”

Yes, that was a hand on his face. It was Gee’s hand turning his face so that the two brothers were face to face. There was definitely another hand, no doubt also his brother’s, gently rubbing small circles on his back, grounding him. Slowly, piece by piece reality started to come back into focus.

“Better, Mikes?”

“Think so. Thanks Gee,” he mumbled, his voice still cracked with a lingering twinge of anxiety.

“Just let it go Mikey. This is between me and Frank. You don’t have to fight my battles for me. I’m really ok with what he does.”

Before Mikey could say anything in reply, Gerard asked “Do you want to go home? I’ll take you if you want.”

Home – well right now that was Gerard’s couch. What if Gee wanted to come back after seeing him to the apartment? He’d be alone stewing on everything that was wrong in his life – Alicia, Pete, and Frank’s abusive behaviour, which he wasn’t willing to accept even if his brother was. No, going back to the apartment was a sure-fire recipe for another attack.

“No, I think it’ll be better if I stay”, he replied in as light and confident a manner as he could muster.

At that moment Frank returned from the bar, without Alex. He squeezed himself in between Gerard and Christa, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend’s waist.

“We’d better go once we’ve drunk these. Need to make sure we get a good spot in the pit. Everyone up for the after party? Brian said that everyone’s welcome.” What he didn’t say, but Gerard guessed, was that the only reason for the invite was that he’d promised that kid (Alex?) backstage access in exchange for a blow or a hand job.

 

*Saturday Night – Part 2*

Frank knew he was a douchebag. Well maybe not a complete one. He had kept his promise to Alex and his band for backstage access through his old bandmate. Of course he’d got them for the usual crew as well. But, he certainly kept behaving that way as far as Gerard was concerned. It wasn’t the extra-curricular sex. He’d made that quite plain to Gerard when they met that his sex drive was high and needed the thrill of the chase. He’d also explained that he would be upfront about having a boyfriend, so people knew it was just casual sex. Gerard had opened up that he liked things rough. That was seriously ok with him. What other way was there to be satisfied than taking full control? But still, something about the way he had been the last couple of months around Gee was starting to gnaw at him. Not in a way that he could let anybody else see, but he knew something was changing in their relationship. The big thorn in his side was Mikey. Arghh, he was always trying to get Gee to end the relationship whispering in his brother’s ear that Frank was just abusing him. That was the trouble though, he was kind of beginning to wonder if, physically at least, the younger Way might have a point. He paused to let that thought settle, then he tried to shake it off. Nah, Mikey was just overly protective of his brother. It wasn’t as if he had a real disorder with anger management issues like Pete. Was it? Yeah, sometimes that fiery Italian temperament got the better of him, but Gee could be so frustrating when he was forgetful or indecisive. Then there was the fact that Gee looked so hot when he was begging and pleading during the rough play, that Frank just got carried away in the moment. Yup, that was all it was – nothing to get worried about. He’d never seriously hurt his boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter. He probably ought to try to keep things in check tonight though, after the incident on Tuesday night.

He toyed with the thought, for about half a second, of persuading Gerard to go for a threesome with Alex. He was sure he could have got Alex to say yes. Geeze the guy was so desperate he’d probably do anything to get his band noticed, and Frank still had enough contacts in the local music scene to offer in return. But, it wasn’t really in keeping with his new strategy for the night – “keep things in check”. He would keep that delicious thought for another day. So, vanilla with a tiny side of chilli would have to become his favourite flavour, just for the night. The spice had to be there. He wasn’t convinced he could totally play knight in shining armour, nor did he think Gee would buy it or want it either.

Beer was the order of the day! It would also give him an opportunity to ditch Alex – Ryan was looking lost and pouty without Brendon. He could babysit until they got to the venue. A trip to the bar would also get Frank away from the younger Way. Gee had obviously told his brother how he had come by that eye. Mikey had looked like he was trying to pluck up the courage to punch him. Not that he was bothered by that, he’d dodged the odd punch or two in his time. He also reckoned that, despite the noticeable height difference, he could take Mikey in a straight-out fight. Something was nagging at him again seeing Mikey react like that. Realisation began to dawn that even though he hadn’t wanted to believe it at the time because the red mist clouded his ability to think rationally after everything else that had gone wrong that day – could Gee have been telling the truth? Alicia was nowhere to be seen. Had she thrown Mikey out again? Hah – served him right the self-righteous arsehole. Though it did reinforce the need to keep control and play it sweet tonight.

Frank brought beers for himself, Gee and Mikey, taking them back to the table. A small sweetener if you will. That was when he introduced the idea of the after party.

Drinks finished the group made their way across town to Maxwells. As Frank knew would happen, they split into two. He, Brendon, Ryan, Pete and Bob made their way as close to the stage as possible, ready to become one with the seething mass of bodies in the pit. Sometimes Mikey would come too, no doubt using it as an excuse to try and knock Frank off his feet without picking a fight. But tonight, he hung back with his brother.

During a break in the set he bounced back to where Gerard and Mikey were standing, for a few gulps of beer.

“Awesome energy at the front babe! Sure you don’t want to join us? Just this once?” He reached for Gee’s hand to initiate movement, and make sure he got the gist of what Frank wanted, in case he hadn’t heard properly.

Gee shook his head, his feet remained firmly planted. But he didn’t withdraw his hand from Frank’s. “You know I can’t stand all that jostling and sweaty bodies pressed up against each other.”

Squeezing Gerard’s hand, Frank stood on tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “You don’t mind my sweaty body pressed up against you, do you?” With that he gently placed his free hand on Gee’s shoulder, bringing his mouth down to kiss his neck. His lips lingered there a second longer than was necessary, drinking in his boyfriend’s scent. With that he forged his way back into the fray.

Eventually the show drew to a close. The club’s patrons slowly began to disperse, tired, sweaty, pumped and hoarse. Frank looked around for Alex. Truthfully, he really didn’t want to be responsible for the kid now, but he would keep his promise. Off in the far corner of the room he spied a small of 5 young men, looking nervous and wholly unsure if it was ok for them to be there still. He didn’t see Alex in the group, but assumed he was one of them facing away from him. Stepping out into group’s the line of sight he beckoned them over.

“Hey Alex! Over here!” The group made their way over and the necessary introductions were made.

“Nice to have some new blood around here! Which one are you doing?”

“I don’t know what you mean Mr Urie,” Frank replied, trying unsuccessfully to feign innocence.

Brendon played along. “I am so sorry Mr Iero. Pardon my crude assumption. Only someone as truly altruistic as you would be willing to take a band of musicians such as these young gentlemen under their wing.”

Frank couldn’t keep up the pretend offence any longer. “Yeah, altruism that’s it. That and a quick fumble round the back of the place earlier with that cutie.” Frank grinned as he pointed at Alex.

“Any good?”

“Enough to consider a threesome with Gee.”

Brendon raise his eyebrow at the admission. “Hmm, maybe me and Ry should give that a go”

“Uh hu – get your own. There’s enough of them.” He was getting himself all worked up again just thinking about it. So much so that he was on the brink of suggesting that Brendon join him in making that play for Alex now. It would be easy enough with the chaos of the party. Goddammit Frank! What happened to play it sweet and keep things in check? He really needed to get a grip.

An unfamiliar thought crossed his mind. Should he really be flaunting his other sexual partners in front of Gerard. Was it unfair? Sure, they had an agreement, and everyone knew he and Brendon occasionally hooked up, but …. An even stranger thought popped up. Was there any way that he and Gee could spice up their sex life so that it would sate more of Frank’s needs? Quickly he supressed both thoughts.

“Have fun Bren” he said as they both made their way back to their respective boyfriends. With a cheeky grin on his face he sidled up to Gerard placing his hand territorially on the man’s arse.

“So gorgeous, fancy showing me how much you love my sweaty body pressed up against yours later? Your place? I know Mikey’s couch surfing at yours, but it is closer than mine, and I don’t know how much longer I can restrain myself with you in these tight jeans.” He winked, a lascivious look on his face as he tugged impatiently at the waistband of his boyfriend’s jeans.

For the first time that night, Gerard broke into the sweetest, most genuine smile. It lit up his whole face. Without saying a word, Gee placed both his hands on Frank’s hips and leant in for a long, slow, deep kiss.

At about two am, Mikey tried to make himself comfortable on the couch. How comfortable can you be when your legs are hanging over the end, even if you curl up on your side? That wasn’t the real problem though. That of course was what was taking place in his brother’s bedroom. They were all adults. Gee and Frank had been in a relationship, or whatever you called it, for over a year now. Frank had announced he was staying over. What else did Mikey expect to happen? Still nothing prepares you for hearing your big brother moan, whine and cry out in pleasure at the ministrations of his boyfriend. Mikey dragged another couple of the couch cushions up from the floor, held them tight to his ears and settled down to attempt sleep.

 

*Two Weeks Later*  
Mikey opened the apartment door. He knew bringing Pete back here was a bit of an imposition, but he was also sure Gerard wouldn't mind. He would understand that neither of them had anywhere else to go. Patrick was having another huff about Pete’s little extra-relational dalliances, and Alicia refused to have him back. She claimed the ongoing anxiety attacks were just too much for her to deal with. She also accused him of spending too much time with Pete. Probably true, he mused. At least Pete would be company for him tonight rather than being all alone on the couch, listening to Frank fuck his brother, and who knew maybe something might finally happen between him and Pete.

He wasn't prepared for the scene that met his eyes. His brother was sprawled on the living room floor, whimpering. His shirt was hanging off his body so that the two friends could see the bruises developing on his torso, and his face. Gerard’s right hand was twisted at a strange angle, the wrist possibly broken. Immediately Mikey ran to his side to comfort him.

It was obvious to the pair of them who was responsible for Gerard's condition. Mikey hadn't yet noticed Frank's jacket was still hanging over the back of the couch, but Pete had. Leaving his friend to attend to his older brother, Pete made his way to the kitchen in search of Frank. Frank wasn't there, but several empty bottles of beer and one of whiskey were, together with a half empty bottle of vodka. He wasn't in the bedroom either, when Pete peered round the half open door.

"Fuck. What have you done Frank?" He muttered making his way to the only other room in the place. There on the bathroom floor was Frank, passed out in his own vomit. Trying not to puke himself, Pete crouched down by his friend to make sure he was still breathing. That's when he saw the tell-tale sign that Frank had done more than just drink himself into oblivion. Both Gerard and Frank were going to need proper medical attention. He just had to make sure Mikey didn't kill Frank first.

*One Hour Later*  
"This is a serious assault Mr Way," the nurse admonished as she began to tend to Gerard's injuries. "You really should consider going to the police you know."

"No, it was a mistake." If the pain in his ribs hadn't been so bad Gerard would have sighed and shaken his head in disagreement as well, but it hurt too fucking much just to breathe that he didn't want to move anything. Gerard wanted to tell her that he deserved the beating he had received at Frank’s hands. That he was a goddamn awful person, human wreckage grateful for the younger man's attention. That it was his fault his boyfriend was in the next cubicle also being attended to. He wanted to make it clear to her that as screwed up as it was, this was how he and Frankie showed their love. After all, the more he was able to soak up Frank's issues with monogamy and controlling his temper, the more he could demonstrate his love to Frank. He wanted to explain that Frank had stayed this time - hadn’t just walked away like he done the times before when he had hit him. He wanted to tell her that Frank was so shaken up and ashamed of what he had done that he had stupidly tried to dull his own pain with drink and a few of his (Gerard’s) Valium. He wanted to declare that Frank really did care for him. But Gerard knew she wouldn't get it. Instead, his head hung, gazing down at his lap, he mumbled, “I guess I'm just a sucker who has a thing for short Jersey boys with tattoos. Oh, and no self-esteem."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this. I would love to hear (constructive) comments. Let's allow everyone to express their creativity - even if its not your taste or whatever!
> 
> You can comment here, or on Twitter @morgawse_hp.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bulletproof or Hollowpoint](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540600) by [DisenchantedHalo (Morgawse)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgawse/pseuds/DisenchantedHalo), [Morgawse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgawse/pseuds/Morgawse)




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